The unwritten rules come with the new money. Every young pro knows them. The first is to buy mom a house.
"My mom demanded a $1 million house," Phillip Buchanon said. "And it's not that I wouldn't buy her one. It's the expectation — the demand — of it that you don't know about until you're there. What could I do? She's my mom. I bought a house."
The second unwritten rule is to make it sprinkle, if not fully rain money on extended family, too. They expect it. Siblings. Cousins. Aunts …
"An uncle who was my father figure — he taught me how to hit in baseball; he was the first person I hit in pads [in football] — he said if I didn't give him $10,000 he was going to rob that much from me,'' Buchanon said.
And childhood friends? They're the third unwritten rule. You're expected to bring one or two into the good life with you. And choose wisely. Because if you don't you might be invaded at 3 a.m. by four or five men wearing ski masks, made to strip naked and have a gun stuck in your mouth if you don't hand over $20,000. Like Buchanon said he was.
"It was like a movie scene,'' Buchanon recalled . "I thought, 'Am I going to be executed right here?' These were people who knew me, I'm sure. I didn't have $20,000 on me. I'm not that kind of person, running around with that kind of money.
Buchanon stops and says, "Everyone imagines having money that comes with being a pro athlete, but no one imagines what comes with that money."
This is what the former Hurricane and 10-year pro talked about recently at an NFL rookie symposium. It's the cautionary lesson behind his book, "New Money: Staying Rich."
It's why a half-dozen teams, including the Dolphins, have discussed bringing in the retired cornerback to talk with players. He discusses what everyone inside his pro locker rooms went through. He talks about ideas he wishes someone talked with about with him as a young pro.
"Who do you trust?" he said. "That's a good place to start. My message is very clear. When you come into new money, you will have a lot of headaches. I know I did."
The story of money and athletes has been trod over for a while. NFL players make an average $3.2 million, and one in six declare bankruptcy within 12 years after retiring, according to research by the National Bureau of Economic Study.
Buchanon, however, offers lessons from an insider. He grew up the housing projects of Fort Myers. He was raised by his mother in a single-parent home. And his life changed in the time it took for his name to scroll across the TV as Oakland's first-round pick in 2002.
"The financial molesters came around,'' he said. "All these financial advisors are with the NFLPA, because they pay some money. But what's that mean? We're young. I had no training for finances in middle school, high school or college and now these guys show up — the brokers who make you broker.
"I knew something was wrong from Day One. But as an athlete you're taught to have people take care of you all through high school and college. They kind of cripple you by doing that. Now you've got to make all these decisions you're not ready to make."
Bank Buchanon, he called himself early in his pro career. He'd spend $6,000 with friends — "fun friends" he called them, as opposed to "life friends" — in a day shopping and partying.
Mom was on a weekly allowance, then wanted at least $10,000 more for Christmas shopping. Siblings said they deserved to live like he did. A friend said they had a childhood pact to give the other $1 million if one made it.
"Show me your friends, and I'll show you where you're headed,'' Buchanon said. "That's something I tell the young players. It took me a couple of years to figure things out."
That gun in his mouth? He can still taste it. No one was arrested from that night. But that taste of new money is something he passes on to today's rookies.
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